In Malaysia You Never Know

Pick-up line of the day: If I wore squarepants would you sponge my bob? - Aizat
Quote of the day: (On certain frigid, theologically-inclined females) Man your sis is a (thinks of somthing cold and inanimate).... doorknob! - Suff
...... But she's had 6 boyfriends man... - Chah
Yeah she's a doorknob alright! Everyone had a turn. -Suff

I left for Kuala Lumpur on th 28th of December 2004 expecting a fun-filled journey where I get to calm my restless mind and my ravaged soul; where my entire being rejuvenates from the endless mental, physical and emotional bludgeoning that is Singaporean life. I got two of that at the end of it: fun-filled and journey.

I mean, sure we got to see things we were more than happy to see. Like the Bra and Panties Match we played in WWE's Raw vs Smackdown on Aizat's PS2...


There were also things we weren't too hot about seeing, like rude taxi drivers, service that'd piss the Pope off, Aizat's just-wake-up face...

I beat this fella in Winning Eleven on his birthday, which probably explains his face. Me beating Aizat in Winning Eleven on his birthday is like losing your virginity to Jenna Jameson on a school night. It's the wrong time and the other party probably had better, but hey, either way, you scored.

Whatever it is, we learnt a lot in Kuala Lumpur. In KLCC, Aizat and I, for example, learnt that Christy Chung makes us want to mate like bunnies even if she's located next to the prayer room.

Aizat was probably thinking the same thing as me: She needs relocation to our hotel.

Also, we caught the first leg of the Tiger Cup semi-finals between Singapore and Myannmar at Stadium Tun Razak in Cheras. I'd describe the Myannmar fans the same way I'd describe Adam King: delusional, drunk enough alcohol to embarass the Germans and ubiquitous. But of course, like every collection of bad people, there are the exceptions. The saving grace. Black people had Martin Luther King. Mats had Fandi Ahmad. RI had the janitor. Myannmar soccer fans had this guy:

Which guy you ask? The second guy from your right.
The match was exciting, but nothing could beat pre-match posing...


Who did I go with? Supposedly with 5 of my best friends. One had high fever and the other would as soon receive a blowjob from a magpie as acquire leave from polytechnic. What I got instead were 3 of my SJI Mats, namely Nazir, Aizat and Iskandar. Iskandar's mom, sister and two cousins also came along for the ride...

From your left to your right: Iskandar's cousin, Zul, Crazy Guy With Hand On His Crotch Looking Like He's Wanking Through His Jeans, Aizat, Strongman wannabe, Nazir, Original strongman, Iskandar behing him, in white, and finally, me, showing the world the length of my penis.

So what happened in Kuala Lumpur that was of interest? Well to the typical average logical person, nothing. But in the words of the SJI Mats who went to the Kuala L, in Malaysia, you never know...