Strange But False!: Charmaine Ong

Do you know that...

- Charmaine is spelt I-L-I-K-E-C-H-I-N-A-M-A-N-E-N-G-I-N-E-E-R-S if you use old Latin spellings?

- 80-year-old taxi driver Tan Ah Kua claimed to be Charmaine Ong's real father? He also claimed that Charmaine Ong's real mother is in fact Samuel Papaya, the Nicaraguan transsexual.

- In the game Pro Evolution Soccer 6, if you score a goal by executing a bicycle kick while using Gary Neville, you unlock Charmaine Ong, a left winger with fantastic pace and long-pass accuracy. Charmaine Ong's laces, however, are untied and this causes the player to collapse unceremoniously in the middle of games.

- Similarly, in the game Diablo 2, you can download the character class CharmaineOng. CharmaineOngs are natives of the jungles of Primarn and are adept at ranged weapons. Fleet-footed and brave, their main weakness is chocolate. The battle cry of a fully-fledged CharmaineOng is: "AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE I'M GONNA SHOP TILL I DROP, BITCHESSSSS!!!!!!!! AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE oooh cookie!"

- In Algeria, children named Charmaine Ong usually end up working as coffee table designers?

- Charmaine Ong is not Percival Noog-noog?

- Charmaine Ong's full name is Henry Herbert Dunce Char Dingbat Maine Lokasha! Gary Zacharias Emma Sheemama Yo Mama Ong Protein?

- Charmaine Ong is going to release a new single of the Death Metal genre entitled I Wanna Watch Strawberry Shortcake, Daddy!

- Charmaine Ong is the only human being who can marry George W. Bush but have her surname changed to Poo-bes, instead of Bush. Her name will thus be Charmaine Poo-bes.

- In law jargon, to 'do up a Charmaine Ong' is to tickle the judge with your pubic hair.

- Science fiction writer Albert Vrileja once described Charmaine Ong as a 'prepubescent pilot probably with a penchant pertaining to prehistoric piles of pure post-prom party poo."

- Charmaine Ong is not a nice girl.