To My Friend

Hello Christopher

Since you died, I have been living with guilt. I know it’s not my fault that you took your life, but a part of me feels responsible. What if we didn’t drift apart after I entered St. Andrew’s? What if I had been there for you? What if I had been there with you? Would you still be alive?

I mean there I was being an idiot, thinking it’s stupid to go over to Ang Mo Kio to hang out with you because it’s so far from Bukit Panjang. Ang Mo Kio to Bukit Panjang is nothing compared to how far apart we are now.

We were reduced to short chats on MSN. On brief conversations when we happen to meet outside. I wish I had said more.

Chris I miss you man. You took your life, but I was so damn proud to have you as a friend while we lived together. And we lived life. Definitely. And I think it shows. 8 months and 13 days on, I’m still not over your death. I know you wouldn’t want me to live with this gaping hole in my soul but see it this way: that was how much you meant to me.

I hope you remember me when we meet again.

Your friend in this life and the next,
Suff