How True is Suff To His Real Self?

By Rai

Personification= When an object takes on the characteristics of a living thing, especially a human
Objectification= When a living thing, especially a human called Suff, takes on the characteristics of an object

A person’s lifestyle choices ought to be a fairly good reflection of his true self, so much so that he and his favourite objects ought to share similar traits. Just like her famed conical bra, Madonna is one sharp woman. Yepp, you get the drift.

With due consideration to the three basic constructs of chocolates (because Suff likes them), shoes (because I like them) and underwear (erm… just because), just how true is Suff to his real self?


Q: What’s your favourite chocolate?
Suff: Royce mild cacao- milk, no hazelnuts.

Verdict: NOT TRUE TO REAL SELF. Suff is so nutty he could be squirrel feed. The choice of milk chocolate is fine, he can be white or dark too because sometimes he leaves a bitter aftertaste, other times sweet. But nuts, the chocolate definitely needs nuts.

Q: What’s your favourite shoe?
Suff: Holy f*ck, erm, sneakers.

Verdict: NOT TRUE TO REAL SELF. Suff has an unconstrained tongue, unlike sneakers, which have tongues tied down by the laces. Actually I can't think of any shoes with tongues hanging out- well, Suff can't be a shoe then. He should just go barefoot.

Q: What’s your favourite underwear type?
Suff: Nothing, muahahaha

Verdict: TRUE TO REAL SELF. Suff is nothing (: