Bad Date Crossword Puzzle

Bad dates.

When Man invented Mathematics, and made it a possible topic of conversation, He indirectly also invented bad dates. As a result, to most people now, bad dates are unfortunately unavoidable.

Bad dates are, as the terminology suggests, quite bad. They can raise questions of self-worth. They can result in money being invested for a big load of nothing (kind of like the way Enron's shareholders are feeling). And, if your bad date happens to be a teletubby, it can even result in suicide.

So to offset the negative impact bad dates have on human beings, let us try to have fun from that horrid disease. With a crossword puzzle! Not as fun as alcohol, but way cheaper.



ACROSS

5. A bad place to kill your date if he/she is really boring, but a good place to get a credit card for better dates.

6. Really ugly guy: "Hey baby let's make love like the victims of Hollywood psychopaths just moments before their gruesome deaths! Oh, and I'm hung like a horse. The Trojan Horse, mind you. No virus on me, though."
Lady: "You _____, weirdo!"

7. -tonic. The only kind of tonic guys won't share with sweet, gorgeous ladies.

8. Men, one prerequisite for a good date is that the lady does not have a _____.

9. A date in which the two of you wear the same top and skirt is a horrible date _______. Unless you're a lesbian.

DOWN

1. 3 words. ___________________ not a good date if you're a straight man at Brokeback mountain.

2. Chess piece - two of which, when put together, resemble a woman's boobs. Something you shouldn't point out if you're dating a conservative chess enthusiast. If a pawn is an Olsen twin, this chess piece would be Pamela Anderson, pre-removal. Oh, and here's a really discreet clue: The answer's not 'pawn'.

3. "I just _________ to not-so-gently squeeze your boob there. Here, why don't I squeeze this other random, unknown lady's boob so you won't be in that boat alone." - What not to say when you squeezed her boob not-so-gently and she didn't like it.

4. 2 words. If you really bored your British date while out at the Alps, he/she will quite likely say, "____ to bloody hell, you fuckin' _____!"

ANSWERS

1. A Cowboy Is
2. Bishop
3. Happened
4. Ski, Arse
5. Citibank
6. Wish
7. Pla
8. Penis
9. Indeed