Hello readers.
Coming from a life in which events occur whose descriptions elude the languages created by Man, I - a victim, and product, of consequence - was forced to create a manner of speech that will befuddle the ignorant, and enlighten those who are already light and not weighed down by the weight of heaviness.
Professionally, I shall term it Suffonics. Others have called it Suffism, but that alludes to Islamic mysticism. Personally, I'd rather call it Fudgewunkle Aurora.
Suffonics, ladies and gentlemen, is basically a combination of familiar and not-so-familiar English words with words that are English-sounding, but remain undefined in dictionaries.
Now, the magical thing about Suffonics is that nobody else understands it. You can use it on say, a bully, and confound him with such a pseudo-logical alignment of terminology that he would not know what to do. You, on the other hand, have bought yourself precious few seconds to run off while that pea-brain processes your words.
So let me begin my lesson proper with a bunch of insults in the Fudgewunkle tongue.
Suffonican Insults
Your mother is a turkish postman - Yo mama is a pomaman-manamanan, jurkish
Your IQ's the same as your shoe size - Yo Inluanda Quizabo's level with yo feetie-rock bigness
Eat my shorts - Moi treesh-torso jammer in yo digestivative matrix
Go fuck a duck - Proceed with some serious boostie quackie quackie pumpy
Kiss Saddam Hussein's ass - Gank an Iraqi woowee
Oh jump off a cliff - Oh gank a woowee
Your days are numbered - Your shallops are fopped.
Go kiss Saddam Hussein's ass while jumping off a cliff so your days shall be numbered - Satay, eh?
Remember these phrases, my friend, for they could make the difference between having a nice, healthy body and one stuck in a locker. Lessons will resume in another entry.
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