Manufacturer
U-Weel Snuffit Defence Technologies
Effects (Chronoligically Organized)
-Beam causes target's right foot to molecularly alter such that it becomes another left foot, leaving target with two left feet
-Emitter then blasts out a random 80s Dance Hit by Kylie Minogue
-Involuntarily, target starts dancing
-Physically incapable of dancing, target loses control, fumbles, and falls to the ground
-Images of a disco crowd throwing their heads back in laughter will be etched in target's mind, leaving him/her incapable of cool, composed thinking. This will lead to horrible decision-making, such as wearing a purple tuxedo over tight green leather pants.
10 Quotes By People Who Have Made Horrible Decisions Due To The Two-Left-Feet Beam
-"Cigar, Mr. President?"
-"I would like to audition for the role of Barney."
-"Your boyfriend kept me up all night long. And I don't mean over the telephone."
-"Yes Michael Jackson." (said by an array of plastic surgeons and 12-year-old boys)
-"Ooh you shot me with that beam eh? I'm gonna turn it 360 degrees and shoot you with it."
-"Wooooah wooooah woooooah....Hit me baby one more time!"
-"I do."
-"So this is the self-destruct button?"
-"Isn't he cute? I'm going to name him...Dick."
-"I'm going to count to 3. By 3, you better get me my right foot back.
1... 1.00000000000001... 1.00000000000002... 1.00000000000003..."
Powerful stuff huh?
Effective Range
100 metres
Duration of Effects
Equivalent to the time that the Kylie Minogue song took to stay in the Top 10 of Papua New Guinea's music charts (a few minutes, in short). This weapon is therefore usually used as a means of quickly escaping your current situation.
Target Customers
-People prone to bad dates
-Very naughty kids
-Vengeful, ugly people
In Summary...
Receives a delicious serving of the Two-Left-Feet Beam, from the Two Left-Feet Beam Rifle, and moleclularly alters to turn into this...
So victim will end up with...
Two Left Feet.
Patent Pending.
Tag me if you wish to place orders.
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