Goompeerkh: A Valentine's Day Special

The three divine beings, Cempedak Khianat, Sweet Mother Of Fuck and Postman Of Satay sat in the Primordial Bus, looking at one another. Outside the Bus was the inky black vacuum of Nothing. Logical chronology did not preside in this time of emptiness.

Sweet Mother Of Fuck turned her attention away, out the windows of the Primordial Bus. She gazed deeply into Nothing, and thought that it was a horrible sight. She wanted the bus to travel on planes in which the emotions of love mingle freely with beings in the passionate throes of song and dance. And the young of these beings would play a delightful sport which she would dub 'Soccer'.

Yes, she thought aloud. I shall create this place. It shall be a place where sorrow does not exist. It would be a place of soccer, of song and dance. Where people joyously hug and kiss and eat chocolates in the celebration that is life. I shall call this place...

Holy Elevating Aerosol Vacuum Arse-Nut!, exclaimed Cempedak Khianat five seats behind. The Jackfruit God had been using his divine powers to Create trinkets of significant power. His most recent one was a weapon - the Ballistic Arse-Nut Gun, or BANG - that shot nuts that were programmed to home in on its target's posterior. These nuts were propelled by the power of Elevating Aerosol Vacuum, which is a Science incomprehensible to human intellects. The exclamation came from firing the gun at himself.

Yes, I shall call it Holy Elevating Aerosol Vacuum Arse-Nut, said Sweet Mother Of Fuck to herself. Or Heavan, for short. And in future times, it shall be misspelt, but its idea of salvation and joy shall remain for eternity.

And so Heavan (spelt 'heaven' in modern days) was created. It was a place of flat, carpet-grass soccer fields, of shops that gave away chocolates for free and people were happy for eternities without end. People would dwell in buildings in accordance to their greatest aesthetic-architectural desire. But the most important thing Sweet Mother Of Fuck set in this Heavan was Love.

There was love - warm, widespread and unconditional. The people of Heavan felt it, and shared it with one another.

The Primordial Bus was motionless. It stayed there, parked in the middle of a perfectly flat football field in Heavan. Inside, Sweet Mother Of Fuck surveyed her handiwork, and let out a sigh of content. It deserves a second name, she thought aloud, a habit that was greatly irritating Cempedak Khianat.

Crazy Hag! Elephants Reprimand Your Looks! Cempedak Khianat exclaimed.