Goompeerkh: The Triumvirate

Author's note: This is the Creation Epic of Suff's World; the story of how Suff's World came to be. I bring you the aptly-named...Goompeerkh.

"It is in the same vein as Genesis or Enuma Elish but Goompeerkh beats from a different heart."
-Preenkafkafmulumulugerbil-Nyoh a.k.a Zack,
Part-Time Philosopher

In the beginning, there was the primordial bus. It was a black and red affair - the large, antediluvian red chassis in an awkward union with the small, equally-antediluvian black wheels. The wheels, however, were inconsequential, for the bus was floating in the inky, black eternities of nothingness.

The primordial bus had all the acoustics of a typical modern day Earth bus - aluminium-framed glass windows, zinc floor; with the exception of out-of-that-world plush red-velvet seats. Ultimately, the bus was primordial and was not inhabited by any organism, large or small; sentient or blonde. It predated organisms, it predated matter. This was the bus that introduced time, space and life into Suff's World. This was the Primordial Bus.

And then came the Time of the Great Boarding, when the Primordial Bus stopped at the Primordial Bus Stop. The Time of the Great Boarding is at a vector of time beyond human comprehension. This was primordial time, and it defied chronological and sequential order.

A tall, brooding mass of black jackfruit aggressively jostled his way into the bus. Well, jostled as much as he could, what with only two other beings around. The jackfruit proceeded in highly arrogant fashion to the rearmost row of seats. This was the self-named Cempedak Khianat, the Jackfruit God, who incidentally, would later also become God of Jackfruits. Cempedak Khianat's first deed as a being of the universe was to sneer, and look menacingly at his first-ever environment outside of the Primordial Bus Stop. He then said, "Nice seats."

4 rows in front, at the window seat on the right aisle, sat a humanoid-shaped Goddess, shimmering white in Her brilliant energy. Her first words were, "Sweet Mother Of Fuck, where am I?" She was henceforth named thus. However, she found it harrowingly difficult to introduce herself to the seat she was on, and commenced to shorten her name to 'Sweet Mother Of Fuck'. Either forms of her name were unable to instigate a response from the seat.

A third divine being hopped onto the bus, with its single stick and meaty body impaled on the stick. Stuck haphazardly to its brown, beefy body were letters, from nobody in particular, sent to nobody in particular. A perculiar sight, He was, but this was a divine being who would wield powers beyond human comprehension. With his godly intelligence, the being chose for itself an exceedingly apt name - Postman Of Satay. Postman Of Satay propped Himself next to Sweet Mother Of Fuck, and the two exchanged smiles.

The Primordial Bus revved its ultra-funk, ethereal engines in satisfaction at its motley crew of passengers, and headed into nothingness.

For the last time...