Hi peeps. I'm Suff's friend, Tommy, here. Suff's currently in a tight situation right now, so he asked me to write an entry for him. In his own words: "Tommy! FUUUUCCCKKK!!! I'm in an almighty fix now! Help! Help! Owww!! Would you do something you bastard? Oi! Stop reading my blog and help me out." So I listen to him. I don't read his blog. I help him out by writing my own stuff. He also said, "Hey, I'm Suffian Hakim and I'm ugly and gay."
You may think that Suff is a smart guy. A-level student...St. Joseph's Institution...
But he's not...He is a big-time idiot with a small-time brain.
Here is the proof:
"You can find haze in hazelnuts, and those go well with chocolates."
Suff said this out of nowhere during a serious discussion about the haze.
"Man, you're so chicken, you crossed the road."
After Kim's refusal to watch a horror movie.
"What do you think I am? Malay?"
Kim accuses Suff of hiding her wallet, and this was Suff's response. Of course, Suff really did hide her wallet."
"Dude, you're a big-time idiot with a small-time brain."
Suff said it while looking at me, but I'm sure he was talking to himself.
"Your mama's so mama, she opened a shop."
The guys were playing the 'your mama so...' game. This was Suff's response to Khairul's 'your mama's so black, people thought she never shaved.'
"You gotta fight...for your right...to fight for your right.. to fight...for your...right!!"
Suff sings his own version of the Beastie Boys' (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party).
"Well fuck me silly and call me Jane!"
Suff said this countless times. I have no idea why.
"Fucking CCA-point collectors with no real care for the needy! Go home and watch reality TV you hormonal fuckfaces!"
When bugged by 5 different secondary school flag-sellers on one stretch of walkway.
"Keep up the good work guys!"
When bugged by flag-sellers from SJI.
Taken from our Swensen's Dialogue Sessions.
Terence: "I wish I had a chio bu... My very own chio bu."
Suff : "Man, there are hot girls everywhere. I have classmates who are hot. I have acquaintances who are hot. I have close friends who are hot. I have friends' girlfriends who are hot. That girl I'm always chatting to online - she's hot."
Tommy : "So what's your point?"
Suff : "Chocolates. Good chocolates... Now that's hard to find."
Terence: "Go and die la!"
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Terence: "You know what I like about sex?"
Suff : "That you've had it only with guys?"
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Khairul: "Being with a girl doesn't necessarily mean heaven, you know."
Terence: "Ya but being without a girl isn't heaven also."
Suff : "Heaven is a chocolate factory, man..."
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Terence: "So, Suff, what's your lovelife like?"
Suff : "It's going great, me and my soccer ball..."
Terence: "No I mean with girls you fuck. You always seem to be chatting to girls on msn. That Raihana. Then there's Cheryl and Krys or whatever..."
Suff : "Look man, just because you're digging your nose doesn't mean there's nose shit in there. It might mean that you just like digging your nose."
Come on people, am I right or am I right? Suffian's an idiot. Totally.
Written by Tommy.
Edited (just for grammar) by Suff.
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