World Cup Fever

Insult of the day: Yeah sure he's reliable...as reliable as an English metatarsal.

The greatest show on Earth is arriving in 3 painfully long days. No, there won't be Star Wars episodes 7, 8 and 9. No, Michael Jackson isn't undergoing a 128745th surgery to his face. And, 'greatest show' means Titanic and the Backstreet Boys won't be involved. So what am I referring to, presuming I am not indulging in tricking my readers into a virtual wild-goose chase?

I am talking, ladies and gentlemen, about World Cup 2006, the grandest spectacle to grace the Earth for at least another 4 years. It will be held in Germany, aesthetically not the most pleasing of nations (think Oliver Khan and sausages), but the fact (oh and not to forget Hitler's moustache) that the beautiful game is involved is reason enough for an entire planet to come together as one, as they speak the language that is soccer. Timezones will merge, until all that is left are two timezones: the time when there's a match played, and the time to sleep.

Who wouldn't be glued to their television sets? A very small group, really. There are those people who are how do you put it... not alive. They'll miss the World Cup. Then there are certain hardcore lesbians, who'll have absolutely no reason to watch the World Cup. There are of course, redneck Australian dumbasses who think soccer is a gay sport. These are the same people who see Aussie Rules as a sport, and are therefore untrustworthy. No loss for fans of soccer if they miss the World Cup. All in all, seen in a global scale, all these people make up an insignificant portion of the billions who will laugh, cheer, jeer, cry and sing as 22 men fight to be champions of the world.

Growing up in a world where tabloids yield actual influence, and paparazzis are more interested in taking pictures of a dying princess than trying to help save her, I have as much respect for journalism as I do for a pail of cow turd.

But for the coming month, I will play World Cup journalist as I transform my blog to an elaborated Suff-ish view of World Cup 2006.

Enjoy.

Oh, and joga bonito.