Waxing Lyrical Frankenstein

Guard duty.

I was bored. I came up with a game. It was as simple and non-complex as the mind of a child which has yet to be exposed to MTV. That referred to my situation. The game, however is an entirely different story.

Okay I was lying. It's actually really easy. Here's how you play it:

Just pick a word. From the word, come up with songs whose titles begin with each alphabet. (i.e ANUS - Always, Nice Guys Finish Last, Underneath Your Clothes, Sunday Bloody Sunday) And then, using the lyrics from those songs, form sentences that make sense when put together. If you're playing with a friend, whoever's sentences make more sense wins the game. Here's an example of a game of Waxing Lyrical Frankenstein (you should by now have figured out why I named it thus) played between me and myself:

Player 1: Me
Word chosen: SUFFIAN

Kiss me you can't hurt me (Suck My Kiss by Red Hot Chilli Peppers)
It's better down where it's wetter, take it from me (Under the Sea from The Little Mermaid OST)
So fuck the police (Fuck The Police by NWA)
And I will try to fix you (Fix You by Coldplay)
Cos I don't want the world to see me(Iris by Goo Goo Dolls)
In the girls' room (Androgyny by Garbage)
And do that dirty dance (Nasty Girl by Nitty)

Player 2: Myself
Word chosen: HAKIM

I don't need no one to tell me 'bout heaven (Heaven by Live)
'Cos All Day I Dream About Sex (A.D.I.D.A.S by Korn)
The bearded barley (Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer)
Designed this rhyme (In The End by Linkin Park)
To have the kind of body always in demand (Macho Man by Village People)

The winner? You decide for yourself.

Who did I pick for the winner? The post-game conversation between me and myself should shed some light.

Myself: Congrats, man.
Me: Yeah, I think I did well if I say so, Myself.
Myself: Did you end your sentence with 'if I say so myself' or 'if I say so, Myself'?
Me: Well, did I say so myself?
Myself: You're right...saying it yourself is kinda weird, talking by yourself like that.
Me: I have a question though, why did you congratulate me?
Myself: I said congrats for you getting se-

I have to stop there, or I'll give away the answer. What did Myself say? 'se-cond'? 'se-creted from an oversized pore'? 'se-x-changed'? 'se-ntenced to death'? Wrack your brains people. Decide the winner, decipher myself's last sentence - I don't really care.

I just hope I have deproved your chances of being totally bored when you have nothing to do, a la guard duty personnel. (: