The problem with most people is that they are never open to people out of their tolerance range. How many people would overlook the fact that another person is different from most and hold a conversation with them? How many times have we avoided conversation with people we deem "weird" or "not funny" or "arrogant"?
Mr. Tight Underwear - oh let's give him a name shall we? Let us call him Herbert, though Suffian never really got down to getting to know what his real name is. Herbert is the kind of person introverts would not talk to, and extroverts would not talk to after the initial conversation. He is weird, not funny and at first impressions, so stupid he's arrogant. Anybody with a sound social sense would avoid him like Prada's summer collection.
Sometimes, however, it is these very people who are at the fringes of society that keep it intact. Sometimes, it is these very people who will keep us alive. And Herbert has kept Suffian alive once before, during the Great Summoning Of The Magnificent White Laser Beam To Counter That Gargantuan Bitch. And again, Suffian needs Herbert for his incorrigable ability to bore.
Before the Gargantuan Lizard stops raving from his loss in the rap battle and resumes his murderous intent.
"Hey Herbert!"
Herbert, Mr. Tight Underwear, looked at Suffian. "Who's Herbert? I'm sure there's nobody named Herbert in our platoon..."
"Well there is now!" Suffian said, his pitch high in his urgency. "You are!"
"But my name is..."
"I don't care what your name is! Just be thankful I'm calling you Herbert and not Veronica. From now on you are Herbert." Suffian glanced at the Gargantuan Lizard. Herbert followed his glance, and saw a single white chicken feather just raging about in mid air.
"Suffian, you are fuckin' weird ah! I don't know anyone who talks about foolscap paper 'or!"
"Well, okay but this time, tell me what you think of paint drying?"
"Oh that's easy, it's due to the systematic evaporation - wait a minute!"
Suffian felt his temper rising. Barely 3 metres away a huge killer lizard in the guise of a feather was about to kill everyone in the hall and there Herbert was hesitating. "What, Herbert?"
"Why are we talking about paint drying? Can't we talk about girls like normal people? I like girls in mini-skirts. I have a thing for black girls in rap videos..."
Magick happened.
"All you Chinese guys are the same. Never liking your own kind," Suffian told Herbert. "That bored me man, thank you."
Herbert was distraught. Again, Suffian had acted very peculiarly.
The magick sequence was this:
While Herbert droned on about his not unusual fetish for rap video dancers, Suffian noticed that his fly was unzipped. And when he thought of fly, he thought of great majestic birds, like the one that needs to watch more Yun Nam Haircare commercials - the bald eagle. So when Suffian looked up and saw one of the medic's stretchers, the piece of equipment turned into a Great Bald Eagle, and was seen across the Dimensions save for ours, where it appeared as a motionless stretcher, and Mordivian S8, where it appeared as a canary in a tutu.
The Great Bald Eagle flew towards the recovering Gargantuan Lizard...
Suffian watched as the Great Battle began....
No comments:
Post a Comment