The Monkey's Uncle

Insult of the day: (Iskandar)Everything about him is style ah. What about him is not style?
(me)Uh...his face?
Side note: Title is a brilliant ass name for a Bar/Pub/Lounge/Club, ainnit?


Freaky Monkey


What kind of Monkey are you?
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When I'm 56, I want to be single, a revered former member of the stand-up comic and showbiz circuit, livin' it up in my penthouse. I wouldn't be lonely since I've got a whole lotta love to give around. Fine, I might get fucked into a lot of lonely nights, but hey, it's nothing I can't live with.

When I'm 56, I want to have a sense of accomplishment in my life. I've fulfilled my promise to Filza that I'd lend her a hand in that aspiration of hers. And even if she outgrows that aspiration, I'd support her through new aspirations, God bless her giving soul.

When I'm 56, I'd have made millions laugh, and a million more smile. The world would be a better place than it was 56 years ago.

And that's me, the world's favourite Deviant, at 56.

People call me a monkey. God knows why. Well, the monkey's uncle is a larger monkey than the monkey himself, it seems. The Monkey's Uncle, after 30 years of marriage in which he spawned 4 daughters who become lovely cousins, decided he wanted a different piece of ass. So he went astray. With his 7th-floor neighbour.

Yep, my uncle had an extra-marital affair. With some woman who lives 2 floors above him.

God, it stinks. He's a close unc, and his daughters are like my sisters. And I've become incoherent and non-creative from a humongous load of emotional...You know 'well-being'? The opposite of that. Yeah, humongous load of emotional that-word. Kinda funny how he disapproves of my cousin's fiance because he had had a family (meaning a wife and kids) and dumped them aside for my cousin.

The only good I can take out from this is that his flat's elevator doesn't go to the 7th floor. Meaning he climbs 2 flights of stairs to get to his bitch. And when he gets to his bitch, he gets some more excercise done. That spells S-H-I-T for the fats clogging up his heart. At least he gets his diabetes buggered...