Living Alone

So my parents went off to Indonesia for an amazingly awesome anniversary holiday, taking my little brother Aidil along. My brother Syahmi went off on an impulsive, romantic getaway to Vietnam to see Rosa, the love of his life. And my brother Shahrul - well, he's in Pulau Tekong doing his national service.

So for the entire week, I had the whole house to myself. I know for a fact that I hate living alone - the lack of noise or person(s) to talk to is slow, metaphorically-awkward murder.

But I tried to make it work. I did all the fun things one would do if one were to live alone. I walked around the house naked. I cooked naked, just to live life on a very dangerous, flammable edge. I did cartwheels around my living room naked. I blasted music - my head throbs to the drumbeat of Starlight by Muse involuntarily now. I played soccer with myself at home, and because of that, I have to come up with a good explanation for my mom as to why one of her vases is broken.

But they didn't work. Silence is deafening, and it greatly perturbs me. I don't know why. Might be one of them weird psychological, Freudian things.

Not only that, things screw up when I live alone. I've burnt a lot of my food (as in overcooked) due to multi-tasking overkill. I have an iron-shaped hole one of my shirts (left the iron there because the food was burning). I flooded the kitchen because I drained the washing machine and forgot to put the drainage hose into the toilet.

I guess there comes a time where a guy realises the full impact of that statement "no man is an island". And this week was mine.

I can't live alone. And even if I could somehow find a way to juggle all my chores, I still wouldn't want to do it. The lack of company is something I cannot live with on a permanent basis.

Sure, I can be independent. Washing my own clothes. Doing my own dishes. Cooking my own food. Shopping for my own groceries. But I don't think I want to.

After this week, I realised that when I grow up, I'm going to have a noisy, happy home. And I'd always joke and play around with my wife and kids. And my kids will never have to come home to an empty home. Not for prolonged periods of time, at least.

My family would never know that bleeding, heavy silence that pervaded my house this week.

So when they got back this afternoon, it was noisy again.

And I was very, very happy.