Kismet

This is an oeuvre of the things that are to come for me. An exploration into the gravity of my fate.

We all try, in so many different ways, to leave our idiosyncratic impressions on this world. From the boy who dreams of becoming an astronaut, to the rich party animal to the brooding, introspective priest - we all try to leave a mark on this world. We wish to exert our influence, our personal indentation on the tapestries of humanity. Indeed, I too, am resigned to the fact that my mark will be made upon this world.

Firstly though, let me tell you about my soul. My soul is a vivid clash of green and red. Green, for the birth and growth of ideas within my being. Ideas that can propel me forward as a guiding light unto those around me. Ideas that can bury me deep into the black, endless abyss of my many iniquities. Green for the calm, serene peace I feel when I am lost. Red, representing my passions, my anger. My blotches of manic energy. My disrespectful deploring of my lot in life. It is the chaotic, melodious music that keeps playing itself in my head. And thus, as such, is my soul. My nature.

So what mark am I to leave upon this world? Think. The green against the red. The red with the green.

The circumstances (do I dare say destiny?) that the nature of my soul warrants has manifested itself invariably in recent times.

Family feuds, with my grandmother and me playing the roles of accidental focal points.

The conscious, deliberate denial of love.

The unfamiliar refusal to open my mind and mouth.

The cognizance that I am vastly different from my peers.

Ah, my friends. They are very judicious individuals, rooted in their positive ideals and morals. And yet they are not exactly the most rigid, unmoving of people. I am very fond of them, and will very likely be the case for years and years to come. Alas, I am so different from them. Sometimes it is blindingly flagrant. The underlying notion here, however, is that they are the balance in my life. They are the equilibrium I can find so rarely in my life. They are the counterweight to my excesses and my quirks.

And in the days ahead, I think they will feature very heavily.

This is a search into my future. But it is also a tribute to the bastions of my present.