10 Signs You're Going To Jail

Going to prison (as a prisoner and not as one of the finks who think jail makes an interesting tourist attraction) is just like joining the Jedi Order - there are some people who are born into it, and there are the mistakes. The mistakes refer to people who shouldn't have been imprisoned, like Nelson Mandela and jaywalkers. But let us refer to those born into a life in jail.

Those born to be in the Jedi Order usually show a genetic inclination towards Jedi-related attributes. They have high midi-chlorian counts. They speak in badly-organized sentence structures. They can foresee things before they happen.

Same thing for future jailbirds. Some, as a result of consequence, are destined to be behind bars. So here's a list of 10 signs that indicate you're going to follow in the footsteps of O.J, Martha Stewart and the CEOs of formerly-mighty corporations...

10 Signs You're Going To Jail
10) Your father's in jail, and your mother's meeting her friend, Uncle Robert.
09) Your mother's in jail, and your father's meeting his friend, Uncle Robert.
08) You have a tendency to walk out of the house naked - not because you forgot to put on your clothes, but because you like it.
07) When you were a kid, you'd beat up all the kids at the playground.
06) You're 30 and you're hanging around a playground.
05) You're a Conservative and you enjoy South Park and Marilyn Manson.
04) You're waaay deep into weird shit like Gay Midget-Bestial Porn and porn depicting defecation and gory deaths.
03) You don't pay your taxes. Which can put you into jail both directly, or indirectly - whichever scenario arises first.
02) You have political ideas, and you're Singaporean.
01) You're Arab and you just happen to be in an American airport.