Hubris Hubris Tinkledoop

I present to you Stan Jallalabad The Infinitely Relaxed, Professional Politician and Voice Of All That Is Morally Vague Yet Sounds Right.

"Well hello, people. Just wanna say a couple of stuff, if you guys don't mind."

Okay maybe he's wearing a really faded t-shirt that says, "Say hello to 12 inches of heaven," with an arrow pointing downwards under those words. Maybe his bermudas are stained and tattered at non-strategic locations. Maybe speech-giving politicians aren't supposed to be wearing bermudas in the first place. Let him speak, though, and hear his wisdom.

"Oh wait, before that... Hey you. Dude with the scruffy hair. Yeah. Get me a bottle of water, will you? That's a good dookleheed. What's a dookleheed? Ask a table. Now go get me that sky juice."

"Right. People, you wanna hear what I think about political power? I think people who want power don't deserve to be in power. Oh, thanks for the drink, man. The want for power will addle their brains up a bit. It's a right crotch-scratcher, that is. And crotch-scratching is exactly what I feel like doing right now."

This is the part where you don't conjure mental images.

"I'm not saying that we should free the wee people of the Institute Of Mental Health and let them run the show. But the power-hungry should not be given a feast. Give them samplings, perhaps, but not the whole spread. I just have this strong feeling things would not go well if it were to happen. All this talk about feasting is making me hungry. Hey you. Dude with the fake white wig. Get me a box of chocolates, will you? You're just a good dookleheed as the other guy. "

"I think the election process is really weird. I have the same feeling about elections when I heard about the concept of inflatable dart boards. It's just...logically questionable. For a short period of time, you concentrate all your resources to tell people what you WANT to do, but you don't spend it really proving that you CAN do it. And people bring you into power for mere theories. Aiite, thanks for the chocs. You need a more fashionable wig, man. What are you, a judge or something? Oh, you are? Crap. Well, thanks anyway. Alright, what's my point in all this? I have none, really."

"The country's well-run as it is. Maybe a few people running the country wanted the job; wanted to be in power. That would explain Newater and National Service. Otherwise, it's in rather good hands. But if things deteriorate, I think I'd have a vague idea why. Speak to you guys again soon. Peace out."