Eid Ul-Fitr

Tanpa ku sedari airmata ku mengalir
Terdengar ayat suci seruan takbir
Betapa daku gembira dekat di samping keluarga
Di pagi mulia hari raya

Kan ku sujud di kakimu bila kita bertemu
Kan ku cium tangan mu ku pohon restu
Oh maafkan daku kesalahan diri ku

I feel a sense of loss at the passing of Ramadhan.

And without realising it, tears rolled down my cheeks as I contemplated this day of celebration. I was happy, surrounded by family. And as I asked for forgiveness, as per the tradition of today, I cried. From deep within my soul, I cried. In genuine joy. In genuine need for forgiveness. In genuine sadness that the holy month has come to pass. In genuine love for all those around me, and for the world I am in.

Very gay material, some of you might point out.

But at that moment, I had no care for images of very opinionated secondary school, polytechnic, junior college or national service kids (the only people who'd find such stuff gay).

All the insecurities of being a 19-year-old Singaporean boy disappeared. There was love here, and it bound us as one family, regardless of age.

As I joined in playful activity with cousins less than half my age, I couldn't care less about society's expectation of how a 19-year old combat 3rd Sergeant serving national service should behave.

I couldn't be bothered about inter-boys' school rivalry, that has played a rather significant role in my life. I couldn't be bothered which Rafflesian (male) was ugly or dumb or would grow up to lead a sad, deprived life beating up the Batamese woman who married him for the money. (Side note: I did, of course, think of Rafflesians [male] whom I love and care for. Like Raihan, who is ugly and dumb, but whom I would like to wish: "Selamat Hari Raya you regimental police satay." And to Hermy: "May Ramadhan not weaken your arms. Continue banging those drums man. Sorry if that sounded wrong." To all those who I've missed out and who I find likeable, Selamat Hari Raya. You know who you are. I don't give you looks that'd freeze penguins.)

My apprehensions, my negative energies were in another time and place. All that was left was joy, and love, pure and wholesome and untainted.

Selamat Eid Ul-Fitr to all Muslims out there.